One ordinary mom, one BIG dream
Making Waves for Sharks and Our Oceans
The idea of ‘Bo and the Whale Shark’ was inspired by my youngest son Beau, who was obsessed with sharks.
He did not like me reading any of the beautiful story books I had to him at night, I was only allowed to read this rather boring shark fact book, over and over.
So I told him I was going to write him his own story, and it would of course have sharks in it, in the hopes that it would inspire a love of reading and story time.
I must confess I knew nothing about sharks before writing this book, except that I was terrified of them, and I had no idea how I was going to fall in love with this diverse and fascinating species.
If you have a big enough reason WHY, you can overcome almost any HOW.
There are no mistakes in life… when you look back, you will see that even those ‘mistakes’ served a purpose and they led you to exactly where you needed to be.
I don’t believe that I would ever have had the courage and perseverance to finish this book if I hadn’t hit this very hard rock bottom, which led me to recovery and working a 12 step program. I never believed in myself before, and I played a tape over and over in my head that always said “I am not good enough, I am not talented enough. I am such a failure.
But I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I didn’t want to be defined by my past mistakes. I wanted to play a new song. A song of possibility, of purpose, of living my full potential, and that all the mistakes I have made in my past, have led me here, to this moment, and that there are no mistakes in God’s world…. and I am not a mistake.
I had never illustrated before this project, and I knew nothing about writing and illustrating a children’s book. But I did know I could draw, even though it had been a very long time since I had drawn, as I had been busy being mom to four amazing boys, and trying to help pay the bills and working a variety of different jobs. But the idea of this book would not leave me alone, it kept whispering to me, and even though it felt so absurd, so impossible, something deep inside of me said, ‘I can do it.’ And there is a quote that says “If you have a big enough reason WHY you can overcome and endure almost any HOW.”
And I found my reason WHY….
"The hardest journey I took was the journey back to myself — but it led me to purpose, healing, and love."
"I didn’t want to be defined by my past mistakes. I wanted to play a new song — a song of possibility, purpose, and living my full potential."
A singer called Nightbirdie said “People say they can’t find God. That is because they look too high for him. Look lower, God is on the bathroom floor with you.” And I know that the God of my understanding was with me that night because I managed to get the help I so desperately needed, and begin the slow and somewhat painful journey back to healing and recovery.
I share this part of my story not because its easy, but hopefully to ease some of the stigma that addiction is shrouded in, especially in my country, Zimbabwe, where it is more rife in our little communities than people realise. We don’t choose to be addicts, but we can choose recovery, one day at a time. And there is help out there, if you are brave enough to ask for it, it does not have to be the end of the road. It can be the beginning, the beginning of a new and wonderful life filled with passion, clarity, purpose and joy.
"Addiction took my joy, my purpose, and my sense of self — but recovery gave me a new song to dance to."
The writing and illustrating of this book took me five years to complete. It was a mammoth journey, but the first journey I had to take was by far the hardest, the journey to recovery.
You see at the very beginning of sketching out ideas for this book I realised I had developed a debilitating addiction to sleeping pills and alcohol. It was something that brought me enormous shame, and I tried desperately to control and hide it, to no avail. It had sucked all the joy and purpose out of my life, leaving me feeling broken, empty and suicidal.
Addiction is a cunning foe, and it always wins until it brings us to our knees and in desperation we cry out for help. And that is exactly where I found myself, one night, kneeling on my bathroom floor, in a pool of blood, crying out to a God I was very angry with and hadn’t spoken to in years, saying, “If you are really out there, I need your help, I can’t go any further.”
"I was broken and empty, but I wasn’t a mistake. I am proof that from rock bottom, you can rise."
Firstly the irony of writing a book about sharks while I live in a land locked country is not lost on me, but I love the ocean. It is so vast, and full of mystery and wonder and beauty, and in my quest to research marine animals for this book I started to read about the plight of sharks and our oceans and I watched every documentary I could on the subject. And what I discovered filled me with horror, anger and a deep, deep sadness. How are we carrying on ‘business as usual’ when our oceans are standing on the brink of mass extinction. We are killing 100 MILLION sharks every year, through harmful industrial fishing practices, loss of habitat, plastic pollution and the shark fin trade - that is an estimated
10 000 sharks an hour, every hour, day in and day out, and at this rate we could witness extinction of precious shark species in our lifetimes, and the consequences of that are catastrophic to our ocean’s perfectly balanced ecosystems.
The media often portrays sharks as these scary beasts, yet there are over 500 different species of sharks, and they range greatly in size shape and colour. For example the smallest shark is called the dwarf lantern shark - it is the size of an adult’s hand, and lives deep in the ocean’s depths, so you are probably unlikely to see one in real life - oh and they glow in the dark. And then there is the largest shark - the whale shark. They reach a staggering 12-18 meters long, that is as long as two school buses put together. They are gentle giants, they are filter feeders, harmless to humans, and yes they are my favourite shark, hence “Bo and the Whale Shark”. I have had the privilege of swimming with these magnificent creatures twice in Mozambique and it is an experience I will never forget.
A lot of us think of sharks as these dangerous killing machines. Yet I would like to tell you that they are not even on the top 10 most deadliest animals to man, and you are more likely to be killed by a deer than by a shark! Which is crazy I know!
So what can one ordinary mom who lives in Zimbabwe, of all places, do about the plight of sharks, if anything. Well I knew I could paint, and I thought I could use the talent I had to draw attention to this beautiful, and often mis-represented species.
There is a quote - it is my favourite quote by Mother Teresa and she said, “We can’t all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” This was the message my book was based on, and this became my act of love.
It is my hope that this book touches children and adults hearts alike and that they see sharks in a new and wonderful way. Change only happens when there is first awareness of a problem. And people only stand up for causes that they love and believe in. So to stand up for sharks we first need to see their beauty, their intelligence, their importance, that there are no oceans without sharks. Sharks need us to advocate for them. I do believe that ordinary people, with ordinary talents, can do extraordinary things if their why is big enough. And for me preserving and protecting our beautiful ocean and all her magnificent creatures is a big enough reason why. What each one of us does in our lives matters, and each one of us can make a difference to the world around us, no matter how small. For as Archbishop Desmond Tutu said “Do your little bit of good where you are, it’s those little bits of good, put together, that overwhelm the world.”
My youngest son Beau, who inspired me to write this story with his passion for sharks. Never underestimate how your passion can inspire others!
And of course to Jack, Ari and Joseph, you have inspired me more than you know, and you are also a BIG reason why I had the courage to finish this book, for all our children deserve to swim in healthy, beautiful, clean oceans brimming with incredible marine life. Love you always xxx
